Here’s a quote from Widows Wear Stilletos that Dorothy thought might ring true for some of our members. Do you have a favourite quote or saying to share with our community? Just add it in the comments section and we’ll post your thoughts.
“You must be very careful about the people with whom you choose to surround yourself on your Healing Journey. For example, several people who were once in my life believed – and actually told me, ‘Once a widow, always a widow’, or words to that effect. In their opinion…I’d caught my lifetime limit. To their minds, Mike was gone and I was expected to settle into my new, ‘permanent’ role as a widow; never to be happy or seek a new life or be in love, anymore, ever again. It did not matter that all the mourning in the world was not going to bring Mike back – I was ‘expected’ to remain in a grieving space in both mind and heart for the rest of my life…and any behavior to the contrary was ‘wrong’.
I decided that while widowhood has definitely SHAPED who I am, I was not about to allow it to DEFINE who I am and who I was going to become. Widowhood was a false destiny; one that I did not choose. That singular decision enabled me to continue moving forward and turn a deaf ear to the naysayers – none of whom had ever experienced that level of loss firsthand.
Always remember the certain truth that while the loss of a spouse forever shapes you, it does not DEFINE you. Do not settle for living a destiny that you did not choose. Commit to being proactive with your healing and remember, it is love and memories – not loss and mourning – that lasts forever.
Carry that message with you daily”.